On m2m hook-up websites if you peruse through a large number of the profiles, you'll discover a glaring statistical paradox:
It seems that by a LARGE margin, men list themselves a 'bottom' in search of a 'top', whereas far fewer say they are a 'top' in search of a 'bottom'.

Clearly this big imbalance poses an uphill battle for hooking up if you claim to be a 'bottom', –and even more so if you go on and on in your profile about how you want to throw your legs up and 'get ravished real good' by some unknown stallion.

Here's a message I got from an unknown admirer on one of these websites:

"Wow, you are so hot! I really hope we can get together!"

–Nice words to get. So I check out his profile:

"Learning the joys of man-to-man sex after far too many years of denying myself. It's all coming to me now [at 65], all the fulfillments of pleasing a man as his bottom and of pleasing myself in the process. I've had only a few encounters, but enough to teach me how much more I want to experience.
–he continues–
I need touch, compassion, passionate kisses, nipple play..and a man who knows how to take his partner completely when the time is right. I am ready to give. Discretion is a must, but when trust has been established, you will find me open to the moment, holding nothing back."

Disappointed once again, but wanting to be helpful, I write him back:

"Your desire to get together is flattering, but not very realistic since you live in New England and I live in Arizona. But I do hope you meet some guys in your area:-)
Btw, reading your profile, I think to myself:

Every newly enlightened middle-aged guy seems to seek the same thing at this point in history:

To lie back with his legs up and 'allow' a 'top' guy to
1) take the reins.
2) tend to his dick.
3) fuck his ass.
4) tend to his nipples, etc. etc.

–in other words, basically do all the work.

I don't think being the 'bottom' in M2M sex necessarily means that you are actively 'pleasing' the top, ....unless being the 'top' just means to lie back and get pleasured."

To this he responded: "I am willing to give, too."
–and I wrote back:

"Good! And 'exactly how' is what you need to write about in your profile if you want to attract more men's attention;-)

Consider some tweaks so that it tells the reader more about what YOU want to ACTIVELY DO so he gets what he's craving, too. –I mean besides the 'pleasure' of your permission for him to get on top of you and pump for YOUR enjoyment as a passive receiver. Teens and twenty-somethings might get ravished this way, but there comes a point...

Just consider that a large percent of men in our age group (or younger) are also in your exact same shoes: new to m2m sex, probably married for years and long saddled with the societally assigned duty of being the heavy lifter for his wife's pleasure.
Your potential male partner ALSO wants to experience a break from always being the initiator, performer, provider, and pleaser while the wife takes it all in –and maybe grants him a blow job, if she's in the right mood.

What's more, most gents of a certain age no longer feel anywhere near as confident about being the rock-hard stud that they once did. I think this is another reason why so many list themselves as a 'bottom'.

So, unless getting plugged is the ONLY thing you're interested in getting out of a new sexual encounter, don't put a heavy burden on guys right up front in your profile before you even have a chance to meet. Put less performance demands on a first date, have more frequent experiences, and see where things naturally go.

By demonstrating that you want to be the other dude's equal in the ways I've mentioned, and that you are willing to "take the reins" as often as you expect the same of him, your profile will stand out as accessible and appealing.
This also means stating in your profile that you are 'versatile' not just one more 'bottom'.

My suggestions are only meant as positive and caring, and in no way as a wish to be an asshole or to hurt your feelings;-)"

Thank you for reading, my SYD buddies.
I hope you'll share your own thoughts and opinions..