McDonna, 50 Billion Served
(Mid 1980s)

Gator Growl is basically the world’s largest pep rally. Held at the University of Florida, where tens of thousands gather to be entertained by a student-run production that includes a variety of entertainment and appearances by top entertainers. When I was there, the main acts were Bill Cosby, The Smothers Brothers, Billy Crystal, and one year I was the director of Gator Growl when the guest performer was Jay Leno.

My freshman year, I was a nobody. I volunteered to help with the production and was assigned some low-level responsibilities. But before it was over, I landed a role in the production that led to a world class experience for an exhibitionist.

The weeks leading up to Gator Growl were a roller coaster. I was accepted into a sorority, and having grown up watching 70’s and 80’s comedies of sorority girls frolicking in lingerie while boys spied through the windows and plotted panty raids, I had prepared for something much different than I encountered.

I arrived with the plan to break free from my conservative upbringing and ‘good girl’ reputation and prove I could be wild and daring. I started my campaign as soon as I arrived on campus, and quickly gained a certain reputation for how I had behaved at a number of parties, and some other activities. Before year’s end, I realized that I had vastly overcompensated. My new friends did not already think of me as the preacher’s daughter. So, my extensive efforts were not only unnecessary, I ended up alienating myself from my peers. After the early problems, I spent the rest of my freshman year trying to recover.

Most of the trouble had to do with boyfriends, but not my own. Guys were not allowed on the second floor of the sorority house, but they still end up there much of the time. In high school, I had learned my lesson about being naked around my girlfriends, so I started wearing nighties at the sorority house. After a while, some of the girls asked that I not wear lingerie, particularly my see through stuff, around their boyfriends. I probably should have been more accommodating, but at the time I felt I was already covering up enough, and the boys were not supposed to be on the second floor anyway. As far as I was concerned, if they came upstairs, they saw what they saw.

I was also upset because of how much money I had spent on the nighties. I grew up in a nice house on Hilton Head Island, reaping the benefits of living in a resort community, with a membership to the county club, sailing on friend’s yachts, and traveling to Europe, Israel, Egypt, and dozens of other amazing places. But my family actually had very little money. These extravagances were only possible because my father was the minister for a wealthy community. Admissions were regularly granted, fees generally waved, and much of what we had was given to us, as is common in this type of arrangement through the church and its members.

When I left for college, my parents gave me money, but it was not very much, and I was expected to make it last. But I immediately squandered it all. Never having been in control of any real money before, I spent it on fancy dinners for my new friends, and I bought a lot of clothes – but very little the type I could wear to class. Just a few weeks in, I realized it was necessary for me to get a job.

My first approach at landing a job only highlighted my foolishness and motivations at the time. It was an offbeat novelty shop that was hiring, and also happened to sell a product I had been wanting to buy for a while. So, I went in and filled out the job application, had a brief interview, then bought a vibrator on the way out.

Besides the main purpose for which the device was designed, I also had other reasons that motivated my purchase. I saw it as a sign of maturity. And I didn’t want to feel ashamed of it, which I would have if I tried to hide it. I was determined to not be shy about owning or using it. So, I was open about it. I picked out the largest and most colorful one I could find, proudly placed it on the counter, and purchased it from the same people with whom I had just interviewed for a job.

This shop was Spencer's Gifts, located in the middle of the mall. I was so proud of myself, and quite amused at the wide-eyed reaction of the people in Spencer’s, that I decided not to go straight back to the house. I carried my vibrator through the mall, throwing out the bag they put it in, and sat with it on display next to me as I had lunch at the food court. I was such an idiot. (By the way... I didn't get that job.)

At the sorority house, I kept the vibrator in its original box on the table next to my bed. Some of the girls thought this was amusing or strange, and the boys were fascinated. I was asked a lot of questions about it, and I was happy to answer.

This was around the time things came to a climax at the house (no pun intended). A boy had asked me about the vibrator while his girlfriend, Kim, was out of the room. I showed it to him and gave a little pantomime while describing how I would use it. Kim didn’t like me already, but when she returned to find her boyfriend sitting on my bed with me in my nightie holding my vibrator, all hell broke loose. I had never been in a fight before. If it was not for her boyfriend, she would have killed me. I felt bad for him. I never saw him on the second floor again.


I had been slapped upside the head, literally and figuratively, with the realization that I needed to improve my behavior. First, I took a break from the house and started finding more activities outside of the sorority. One of these was volunteering to work on Gator Growl.

Most of my responsibilities were quite boring (nothing worth writing about). But one day I heard that a certain parade float was going to be cancelled. Part of the show would have floats paraded through the stadium. The float to be cancelled was the one I thought would be the best. It was to be cancelled because they could not find anyone to play the lead character in the skit that was to take place on the float. I was shocked. I thought this would be a dream role. I immediately volunteered.

The theme of the float was “McDonna”. It was an amalgamation of Madonna and the currently popular McDonald’s slogan. This was around the time Madonna had caused a bit of a scandal with her 'Like a Virgin' performance at the MTV Video Music Awards. She writhed around and gyrated on the stage, and live television, while touching herself in a white “wedding dress” that was more like lingerie. (Please Google it if you have not seen it. For the time, it was quite salacious.) I envied her. Most of my wardrobe at the time was inspired by Madonna. Playing her on the float, and in this way, was beyond anything I could have dreamed.

The float was to have McDonna writhing around in lingerie on a bed atop the float while groping, and being groped by, a group of beautiful men – under a McDonald’s like sign reading “50 Billion Served”. Although I knew this could work against my new effort to clean up my act and improve my relationship with my sorority sisters, I never wanted to do anything more than be McDonna. I decided that pretending to be a good girl to fit in at the sorority was wrong. I would embrace my true self.

This project was perfect for me. My first job was to demonstrate costume ideas. Of course, I took this too far. I went all white, choosing from my own new collection, a lacey bra and panties with thigh high stockings and garter. It was great fun to work through these options with everyone while putting our ideas together. But eventually I was told the bra was too revealing, my nipples could be seen through the lace. I was also told that I would have to wear a dress or skirt.

I was disappointed but found ways of keeping it sexy. I went with a more opaque bra, but smaller than the first. It made my breasts look amazing. And I added a short white skirt. I knew it would be easy to deal with this as soon as the performance began.


During rehearsals, I noticed that the guys with whom I was performing were often coming close, but not really touching me very much. I made it clear to them that I intended to go all out. I told them it had to look sexy, and to not hold back. We agreed to go a little easy for the rehearsals, to avoid being cancelled, but we would really go for it at the show. I was as excited as I had ever been to do anything.

I feel certain that something like this act could not be considered today, but even back then it was racy and a bit controversial. I relished being in the middle of it.

When the day came, and we were in the tunnel about to make our entrance, I told the guy who I knew was the most into it that when we got out there, I wanted him to rip off my skirt. It was very loud and the float started to move, so I didn’t get an answer. As we came out of the tunnel and the float was revealed to the crowd of 70 thousand people, they went wild. Their energy fed my own, and that of my guys. It had hardly begun, and my skirt was already gone. It was far more physical and salacious than even I had intended. I was so overcome I could barely see or hear anything while I gave it my all. At one point, I was aware that my boob was out. But with all of the groping and simulated sex, it stayed mostly obscured until someone tucked it in.

For any aspiring exhibitionists out there, if you are ever presented with an opportunity to dress in your sexiest outfit and be ravaged by many in front of an incredibly high energy, cheering and screaming crowd of 70 thousand… seize it!

The fallout at the sorority was not as bad as I had expected. By the end of the year, they knew what to expect from me, and just accepted it. I wish I could have gotten along better, but I felt good about being accepted for who I really am. If I had done any different, I would have missed out on one of the most incredible experiences of my life.


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In 2004, hurricane Charley damaged my house in Orlando and destroyed many of my photo albums, including most from my college years. So, I don’t have any material to share from my McDonna adventure. But here are a few pictures of me from my freshman year (sorry for the damage from the hurricane). And a picture of me with someone you may recognize, taken a few years later, when I was the director of Gator Growl and he was the featured entertainer.