I will try to make shitty part as short as possible.
When I was 12 or 13 a "friend" of mine had digged out a small bunker, we where playing, he tied me up then told me that the ropes was connected to grenades so if I tried something I would be blown to smithereens and then he had it his way with me. That was the shitty part.
Since then my sexuality have been all messed up and the only thing that really turns me on is my fantasies about getting blown to smithereens ,shredded in jet engines ,crushed into a cream or ripped to pieces by hyngry predators.
Hopefully it will turn out that I`m not completely alone with this and perhaps someone will even get turned on by pictures of my wiener with a grenade or something like that.