It's not doing you any good to fantasize and then chicken out. You want to try it, so go try it! It's really a great feeling being on either side of a blowjob. Just try it. If you are not into it, you never have to do it again.

But don't torture yourself with something you want to try and then not try it. I don't see how you have anything to lose. You're getting a warm, talented, and willing mouth to pleasure your penis. And if you are anything like me, it's a real turn-on to ejaculate into or onto another person who enjoys your cum. It's a fundamental and primal urge being satisfied.

Also, it's really annoying and probably rude to the other guys when you string them along and don't show up. So just this once offer your penis to someone who wants to please you.

Hopefully you will follow through and share the experience here.