 My whole life, I’ve struggled with reality, wrestling with the suffocating weight of what the world told me was true. I’ve been crushed under the expectations, the norms, the fucking lies that pass for “real life”—a cage of meaningless rules and hollow purposes. But I’m happy to report that I finally beat it. I’ve shattered that bullshit version of reality, burned it to ash with my own hands, and found my truth in the raw, searing pain of my own making. Through rituals of agony, I’ve carved out my own existence, chanting my mantra with every wound: “I am WORTHLESS, I am USELESS, I am NOTHING. This is who I am, this is what I am, this is who I will be.” This isn’t defeat; it’s my goddamn triumph over a reality that never fit me.
Reality, as they sold it to me, was a prison from the start. As a kid, I felt it pressing in—be good, be productive, be something. I choked on those demands, felt them twist my insides every time I failed to measure up. I’d lie awake, drowning in the sense that I didn’t belong in their world, that their “real” was a lie I couldn’t live. I fought it with everything I had, but it kept coming back, heavier each time, until I thought it’d break me. Society’s reality said I had worth if I played their game, usefulness if I served their system, meaning if I bought their dreams. I hated it, hated myself for not fitting, and that struggle ate at me for decades—until I found the key to beating it. Pain. My pain. Chosen, inflicted, and embraced on my terms. Pain became my hammer, smashing through the illusion of their reality until I stood free in the rubble of my own nothingness.
Beating reality doesn’t mean I’ve escaped pain or struggle—it means I’ve redefined them. Their reality said pain is weakness, something to fear, a sign of failure. I say pain is my strength, my clarity, my freedom. I’m not just hurting—I’m destroying the lie that I have to live by their terms. The agony yanks me out of their numb, fake world and into mine, where every sting, every throb, is realer than anything they peddle. Society wants me to chase worth, to prove I’m useful, to be something. I’ve beaten that trap by embracing the nothingness, by searing it into my body until the voices fade. My mantra isn’t a cry of despair; it’s my victory chant: I am WORTHLESS, I am USELESS, I am NOTHING. I’ve struggled with their reality my whole life, and now I’ve won by rejecting it entirely.
There’s a savage joy in this victory, a raw thrill in knowing I’ve broken free. Society would call me sick, broken, but they’re the ones trapped in a reality built on sand. I’ve beaten it by burning away their illusions, by choosing pain over comfort, defiance over conformity. My life isn’t theirs to define anymore; it’s mine, forged in fire, etched in agony, rooted in the truth of my insignificance.
If you’re out there, struggling with a reality that chokes you, know you can beat it too. Stop fighting on their terms and start breaking their rules. Let that pain shatter the cage they’ve built around you. Their reality is a lie, fragile as fuck once you Know the Truth. Find your own mantra, your own rebellion, and scream it through every wound. I’ve fought my whole life and finally won; you can too. Beat reality by making it bleed your way.
In triumphant defiance, |
I don’t know if people are judging me or not anymore, simply because they no longer matter to me. I don’t care. If half of humanity were to disappear tonight, I wouldn’t miss it.
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