Ok, I was fooling around with a married man. He is hosting and says I am helping him out. I have always believed the guilt should be on the other person cheating. I am single. So if I have no guilt, does that make me a bad person?
Sometimes sex is just sex. Were you both consenting? You may indeed have been helping him. I was in a stale dead relationship and it wasn't until I fooled around with a beautiful guy that I realized it. Unless you are planning on destroying his marriage then you are not a bad person. You are a caring and kind soul.
if you are in love with the person you cheat with then you need to sort it out , see how your new amour feels about things . But if you are both just enjoying a one off casual fling then no harm done. It depends on his motivation ... you have to ask him ..'why do you fel the need to cheat, are you unhappy with your current partner' .. if the answer is yes, then the 3 of you need to sort it out. Guilt however is NOT the route to take.. solving the problem IS.
Very good comments by all. If in doubt of what you are doing, a good praactice maybe to put yourself in the others persons place. Kinda like Naturist said.
my wife cheated on me with my best friend,left me and shacked up with him,hurt like hell when it happened,so i think cheaters fall into the bad catagory.two people i trusted betrayed me.think of the one who gets hurt when it is discovered,they are the innocent victims of lust.
Are you doing something "wrong"???....maybe. I suppose it depends upon your personal philosophy and sense of right/wrong.
Maybe he is in a bad marriage and you are providing him a safe and enjoyable relationship. Our time is short on this planet.
Then again, society also has rules and even if he is okay with cheating on his wife, it doesn't make it ok for the other party (you) to facilitate and engage in it (especially knowing that he is married). There are even some countries where what you are doing is considered to be criminal/illegal....regardless of who "started it". Whether or not that is right/wrong is up for debate as there are many questionable laws, but they were usually imposed for a reason....to discourage unwanted/unacceptable behavior that is detrimental to society. And even if there are not any applicable laws, there is still the unwritten code of conduct that all cultures/societies have, which may vary.
You say you have no "guilt", yet you also take the time and make the effort to solicit the opinions of others on the issue. My impression (right/wrong), is that although you may not feel any guilt, your conscience is still bothering you and you have doubts. I do not know if your doubts are about your behavior or about how your relationship will play out with him....do you have a "future" with him, or is it just for occasional temporary sexual gratification....???
If you were completely without guilt/conscience, that might place you towards the end of the spectrum which more closely associates such persons as being sociopaths.
As "slipper" mentioned, it's very complicated. Yet, since none of the rest of us are involved or have direct knowledge of all of the various factors and circumstances for your given situation, then only **YOU** can be the best judge of whether or not you are doing something right/wrong, and/or if you should feel good or bad about it.
One thing that is for sure....if you already do feel "bad" about it, then maybe you should STOP.
Faaaaaaaaaar too complex for a simple "yes" or "no" answer here. Can the wife get hurt in the process? If so, for me, that's the main issue. I'm assuming (always a risk) that SHE didn't consent to any of this. If so, it becomes an entirely different ethical issue, imho.
Are you doing something "wrong"???....maybe. I suppose it depends upon your personal philosophy and sense of right/wrong.
Maybe he is in a bad marriage and you are providing him a safe and enjoyable relationship. Our time is short on this planet.
Then again, society also has rules and even if he is okay with cheating on his wife, it doesn't make it ok for the other party (you) to facilitate and engage in it (especially knowing that he is married). There are even some countries where what you are doing is considered to be criminal/illegal....regardless of who "started it". Whether or not that is right/wrong is up for debate as there are many questionable laws, but they were usually imposed for a reason....to discourage unwanted/unacceptable behavior that is detrimental to society. And even if there are not any applicable laws, there is still the unwritten code of conduct that all cultures/societies have, which may vary.
You say you have no "guilt", yet you also take the time and make the effort to solicit the opinions of others on the issue. My impression (right/wrong), is that although you may not feel any guilt, your conscience is still bothering you and you have doubts. I do not know if your doubts are about your behavior or about how your relationship will play out with him....do you have a "future" with him, or is it just for occasional temporary sexual gratification....???
If you were completely without guilt/conscience, that might place you towards the end of the spectrum which more closely associates such persons as being sociopaths.
As "slipper" mentioned, it's very complicated. Yet, since none of the rest of us are involved or have direct knowledge of all of the various factors and circumstances for your given situation, then only **YOU** can be the best judge of whether or not you are doing something right/wrong, and/or if you should feel good or bad about it.
One thing that is for sure....if you already do feel "bad" about it, then maybe you should STOP.
Best of luck...
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