I seriously doubt that liking anal sex is "naturally wired" in gay men. The gay orientation yes, the desire for and/or enjoyment of anal sex no. Data I have read (again I don't remember where, but my brain seems to soak up sex information, especially gay sex information, like a sponge) have indicated that many men derive pleasure from prostate stimulation from anal penetration. Some men can even climax this way with little or no stimulation to the penis. I know this is true from the number of men who have climaxed while I fucked them.

So how many men enjoy being penetrated? Somewhere between a third and a half of the male population. Since only three or four percent of men are gay, it follows that there are a lot of straight men out there who like taking it in the ass. In my personal life I've known several. In a survey I read about (again I don't remember where) an astonishing ten percent (ten percent!) of straight men were candid enough to admit to liking being penetrated.

The other side of the coin is how many gay men do not. Despite the fact that I'm as gay as they come (gay as pink ink, queer as a three dollar bill), like you I do not enjoy being penetrated. That's not to say I haven't done it because I have, dozens (no hundreds; what can I say, when I was younger I was a major slut) of times. If the guy was really hot and/or if he was someone I was fond of, the knowledge that he was using my ass for his sexual gratification made it enjoyable. But the feeling was strictly psychological and emotional. The physical pleasure just wasn't there.

So there we are. Some straight men (no, a lot of straight men) like taking it in the ass, and some gay men (like you and me) do not.

Of course you are right. In the straight world the missionary position was "normal" and anything else was "perverted". But a lot of things happened behind closed doors. And the same thing goes in the gay world, probably more so since gay men were already engaging in "the love that dare not speak it's name". (By the way, there was a great line in one of Amistead Maupin's "Tales of the City" books. In San Francisco the love that dare not speak it's name practically never shuts up.)

Now-a-days it's anything goes.

My husband and I engaged in anal intercourse quite frequently during our early years together, with me as the top. It was wonderful and delicious and very fulfilling. As our relationship progressed and we began to age together, we shifted more into a mostly oral relationship, which has been equally fulfilling. There are so many ways that two men can pleasure and satisfy each other. Anal doesn't necessarily have to play a role in that satisfaction.