I'm not sure how she'd react. It would be hard to explain to her how I feel about it all. I feel bad that I'm hiding something from her, but I don't feel bad in the way that I'd feel like I was cheating if it was with a woman. For me, it's really like getting a massage or a haircut. It's a totally mechanical arrangement that gets a job done. There's no possibility of romance or it effecting my marriage in any way, so for me it doesn't even have the hint of feeling like cheating. All I feel bad about is hiding something from her.


Seeing that you're gay, have you seen this situation play out in people that you know? Like I said, my guys take care of a handful of guys who are also in my boat. They're not sucking every cock in town, but just help out a few guys when they need it. They get to give a few blowjobs a week, and the guys who get blown have better lives. It's win-win, so ever since I discovered this little underground world, I've had the suspicion that it's way more common than anyone would expect. Like I said, it's win-win, and situations where everybody gains and nobody loses generally get acted upon in life.

Just so you know, that's how lots of bisexual people are. In fact, it's rare for a bisexual guy to have romantic interest in both sexes. Every one I've known would only have any interest in kissing one or the other. Maybe there should be separate terms for each, but there isn't (any that are widely-known).


It doesn't matter which sex you have romantic interest in, a guy who's enjoyed anal sex with another guy and is ready to do it again isn't straight by any definition. Not that I've ever heard, and I've heard a variety. (Obviously it doesn't mean you're gay, since you're interested in women.) I know people have different definitions for sexual preference, but that would be a new one.

I think you're missing the point, it's solely about physical stimulation, not eroticism. I don't mean to demean the guys doing the sucking, because they are decent people, but the experience is not at all about them, they basically just act as the most sophisticated masturbation device one could imagine. Lots of companies out there are trying their damnedest to try to create something that realistically reproduces the feeling of a blowjob, but none have succeeded, despite who know how much research money being thrown at it. When some company out there figures it out, and manages to produce such a device that's either affordable or has the potential to be given mass production, they will literally become overnight billionaires. Porn and sex toys are a huge industry which literally eclipses movies and music, the need to get off is a major driver in the lives of men, and just as I'm not "gay" for my (no longer used) Fleshlight, I also have zero attraction to the guys sucking me off. Believe me, if I was having such thoughts, I think that I'd deal with them, but cocks are kind of ugly to me. However, the feeling of a great blowjob cannot be beat in my opinion.


To be honest, if you can't understand how a man's mouth would be better than one's own hand, I have to imagine that you've never gotten a BJ of any quality. Blowjobs are awesome, and a man's mouth is physiologically no different than a woman's mouth. Yes, you could say that about an ass too, but I think most people would agree that there is a world of difference between a BJ and anal sex, not the least of which is a infinitely greater chance of STD exchange. And in fact, I'm not interested in anal sex with either sex, and many of the guys I know aren;t really "attracted" to sticking their dicks in a woman's shit canal, but just do it because it's tighter and feels good. Like I said, the visual of a guy going down on you isn't so great, it is a major barrier that needs to be gotten over, but in terms of pure physical feel, it's tremendous.


Clearly, especially before hookups were facilitated by the internet, gloryholes were pretty much everywhere. They even did some sociological studies on it, and it would seem that the majority of the users of them were straight guys who just needed to get off. I mean, why else would they have been a part of so many strip joints back in the day. Maybe this way lots of guys could just avoid the visual part of what they were doing, or even roll with the idea that there was some slight chance that there was a woman on the other side, but personally, I would rather man-up and deal with the yuck factor of seeing what was actually going on, and know that I wasn't being sucked off by some random, crazy, disease filled abomination, than to just stick it through and get it over with despite any unpleasant consequences down the line. Then again, I've also never been a gambler. I like to know what's going on and to have control over a situation.


So again, the physical stimulation is the point of all this, not any sexual attraction. I would put dollars to doughnuts that if the roles were reversed and women were the ones who were far more open to providing sexual release, lots of gay guys would also be getting over the yuck factor and getting sucked off by women. Guys need to get off, and are pretty practical creatures, so I think that many if not most of us are willing to make due. I just wonder how common it actually is in practice. After looking into it for awhile, I'm still unsure, but I seem to find more evidence that it is than it isn't. And from what I can tell, the pattern seems to be the same with lots of straight guys who go through with it - at first, after you cum, you're kind of grossed out and fear that you're now gay, but as time goes on and you realize that you're not suddenly craving dick and that this is just an incredible way to blow a load, you lean to relax about it and just enjoy.

Personally,I LOVE to start off with a him limp and feel him grow ROCK HARD in my mouth!When I'm going down on a woman or a man, I like being told where to lick or where to suck. I LOVE being told whether or not I should go faster or slower, it turns me on following the directions of my partner and in the end, I become better at it, so the next time I do it, I'm practically a pro! That is, unless I am with someone new, then I'll need to start all over again following his/her direction, because everyone likes different things and what feels good for one may not feel good for another! That said, I'm sure you are wonderful at pleasing your man, and I hope he realizes how lucky he is to have such a wonderful woman giving him so much pleasure!

Our sex life has changed, like I think everyone's has. I've always loved BJs but they were mostly just part of having sex, not usually regarded as an end unto themselves. And as we've gotten older, the sex has become less and the BJs are largely non-existent. It's not her fault, we just have the same issue as men and women through the eons - a man's libido decreases pretty gradually with age, but for women, the decline tends to be much quicker and steeper, especially as you start circling menopause. For men, drugs like Viagra exist because the drive is still there, but the body breaks down, but for women, even the drive goes, which is why the women's version of Viagra treats drive, not a physical malfunction. And after menopause, even if the drive is still there, there are other breakdowns which can make sex even unpleasant, like thinning of the vaginal walls. Basically, men and women seem to start out often mismatched, and then this is just exacerbated as you get older.

As for what your guy is telling you, if you meant that he was just adjusting your technique during the BJ, well, that's good. Variety in technique is great, but if you intend to get him off, repetition generally doesn't get the job done.

We are no where near as complicated as women. All you have to do is ask...most guys tend to be pretty straight-forward.
The ladies, on the other hand, have a tendency to get pissed-off because you didn't already know the answer before you asked her the question.

As to how it all started, it was Craigslist. I had heard for a very long time that guys give great BJs without drama, and that if you found the right one, they wouldn't want anything back, so I started looking into the situation, and this is when I figured out that it's probably WAY more common than anyone would realize. I also wondered how to make it happen, and everyone said that CL was great, but that you really have to screen the respondents because so many are crazy or liars. So I put out an ad describing my situation and EXACTLY what I was looking for. I got a ton of responses but most were crazy or apparently unable to read because they were way off the mark. I actually ended up running the ad three times before I started understanding how it all worked and I finally found a few potentials winners. Eventually, I found one gay guy who acted straight (affected people of any kind really put me off) and said he loved to suck cock and liked to have a situation where he had a handful of guys who felt comfortable looking him up when they needed to get off. He liked to be sucking someone 2-3 times a week and wondered if I would like to be part of his team. He assured complete discretion and limited risk of STDs due to his preference for not sucking random cock. I was freaked out but ended up being pushed over the edge by horniness and got it done one day. It felt great, and was a huge relief, but it was pretty fucked up too because, well, a guy just blew me. I didn't know if I could do it again, but ended up doing it again and again, and finally it just became no big deal.

It was actually pretty interesting because he'd had a few guys who'd never let a guy blow them so he knew how things would progress, and I think that made it easier for me. He said that he prefers straight and especially married guys because not only do they know to keep their mouths shut, they are apparently the most grateful and well behaved. Even things like cumming in his mouth, he said that he can tell a straight/married guy because they're apprehensive about it from a lifetime of women, many of which don't want that to happen, so the guys always warn him that they're about to cum so that they can pull out, but he has to make it clear to them that it's all OK and they can cum whenever they feel like it without warning. So again, the situation is all about the guy getting blown, and they don;t have to worry at all about really anything but having a good time.

It's just all so simple, I show up, get sucked off, blow a load in his mouth, and then we just maybe have a little laugh about it after the fact while I get my pants back on. In a weird way, it's like the banter that happens with your teammates after a game. Some compliments on a good play, maybe some ribbing about something that happened which was kind of funny, just meaningless friendly back and forth before a mutual Thanks, and I walk out the door.

Btw, the other guy who blows me I met in person at a hockey game. He seemed to play things kind of close to the vest, until you got to know him and then he opened up a lot once he knew he could trust you. He told me that he was mostly straight but kind of bi and didn't really act ashamed of it. Because he didn't seem at all like a blabbermouth, I confided in him that I got blowjobs from this one guy, and he offered his services too. Good deal.

Spoken like a true cocksucker. I'm a cocksucker myself and I know exactly how you feel. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, as exciting, rewarding, satisfying and fulfilling as giving another man a good sexual experience, bringing him to climax and receiving the gift of his sperm. I've had encounters like you describe dozens of times. They are pure sex, no pretense of a meaningful relationship. They exist solely because both men want sexual satisfaction, one to have an orgasmic release and the other the pleasure of giving it to him. Truly a win/win situation.