Colossus: You will come talk with Professor Xavier.
Deadpool: McAvoy or Stewart? These timelines can get so confusing

Now, I'm about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late 90s.

Listen lady, I only speak two languages: English and bad English.
- Korben Dallas

SNL more cowbell

I'm your huckleberry.

I've been thinking about laws on Mars. There's an international treaty saying that no country can lay claim to anything that's not on Earth. By another treaty if you're not in any country's territory, maritime law aplies. So Mars is international waters. Now, NASA is an American non-military organization, it owns the Hab. But the second I walk outside I'm in international waters. So Here's the cool part. I'm about to leave for the Schiaparelli Crater where I'm going to commandeer the Ares IV lander. Nobody explicitly gave me permission to do this, and they can't until I'm on board the Ares IV. So I'm going to be taking a craft over in international waters without permission, which by definition... makes me a pirate. Mark Watney: Space Pirate.

"37!! My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!!"
"In a row??"

All I got is my balls and my word...
scarface..al pacino

But ya are, Blanche, ya are!

I knew I knew you, I knew I knew you. But you ain't you. You can't be you. We put you through the window. There ain't no coming back. This is the really real world, there ain't no coming back. We killed you dead, there ain't no coming back! There ain't no coming back! There ain't no coming back!


If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever

FIRE IT UP, FIRE IT UP, FIRE IT UP

I have lived most of my life surrounded by my enemies. I would be grateful to die surrounded by my friends.

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She has no idea. If I had a blacklight, this place would look like a Jackson Pollock painting

The night's as hot as hell. It's a lousy room in a lousy part of a lousy town - I'm staring at a goddess. She's telling me she wants me. I'm not going to waste one more minute wondering how I've gotten this lucky. She smells like angels ought to smell, the perfect woman.... the Goddess. Goldie. She says her name is Goldie.


The Fire, b@by. It'll burn us both. It'll kill us both. There's no place in this world for our kind of fire. My warrior woman. My Valkyrie. You'll always be mine. Always... and never.

Glass or plastic, glass or plastic?

You're growing up. And rain sort of remains on the branches of a tree that will someday rule the Earth. And it's good that there is rain. It clears the month of your sorry rainbow expressions, and it clears the streets of the silent armies... so we can dance.
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You gotta have presence on the court. Presence like a cheetah rather than a chimp. Sure, they both got it, but Chimpy gotta jump his nuts around to get it. The shy cheetah moves with total nonchalance, stickin' it to them in his sexy, slow strut. Me? I play like a cheetah.

This, this one night, two of my brothers came and woke me up in the middle of the night. And they said they had a surprise for me. So they took me to the barn up in the loft and there was my oldest Bro Dan, with Alice, Alice Jardine. I mean, picture a girl who just took a nosedive from the ugly tree and hit every branch coming down. And... and Dan's got his shirt off and he's working on this bra and he's tryin to get it off and all of a sudden Shawn just screams out, "Danny you're a young man, don't do it!" And so Alice Jardine hears this and she screams and she jumps up and she tries to get running out of the barn but she's still got this shirt over her head. She goes running right into the wall and knocks herself out. So now Danny's just so mad at us. He, he starts coming after us, but... but at the same time Alice is over there unc*nsci*us. He's gotta wa... , wake her up. So he grabs her by a leg and he's drag, dragging her. At the same time he picks up a shovel. And he's going after Shawn, and Shawn's saying, "What are you trying to hit me for? I just did you a favor!" And so this makes Dan more angry. He tries to swing this thing, he looses the shovel, goes outta his grasp and hits a kerosene lantern; the thing explodes, the whole barn almost goes up because of this thing. That was it. That was the last, that was, Dan went off to basic the next day. That was the last night the four of us were together. That was two years ago. Tell me about your wife and those rosebushes?

I'm taking you off my buddy list bitch! I hope you get a virus! You and your computer!
................................................................

Peace.

Peace is meant to explain a state of tranquility. Ok? So why don't you try finding a way to say goodbye, now that you're among civilized people.

Well, Mr. Civilized, peace can also be used interjectionally, as a request, greeting or farewell. So, try to find another way to be an asshole, if you don't know your, grammar, that is. Peace.

Somebody ripped off the thing I ripped off!

Shit, man, I'm gonna be late for work again. That's the fifth time this week, and it's only Tuesday, man.

Your little walkie talkies... have gone walkies.

Well, you know what they say. Two's company. Three gets us talked about.

We've come on holiday by mistake.

Then the fucker will rue the day.

I've just been called a ponce.

GET IN THE BACK OF THE VAN!!!

SCRUBERS.

I'm not from London.

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.


Would someone mind telling me, who are you?


And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least 6teen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".


Well, thank you for that. That's a great weight off me mind. Now, if you wouldn't mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs of course?

We all go a little mad sometimes.

It's Halloween, everyone's entitled to one good scare

They wanna get you hooked on some legal shit! They just keep on naming symptoms until they name you that you fuckin' got. It's like: "Are you sad, are you lonely, you got athletes foot? Are you hot, are you cold, what you got? Ya want this pill huh, mothafucka? You gotta take this pill!" And they don't even tell you what the pill does, you see a lady on a horse, or a man in a tub... And they just keep namin' symptoms: "Are you depressed, are you lonely, do your teeth hurt?" What the fuck? I saw a commercial the other day that said, "Do you go to bed at night and wake up in the mo'nin?" "Oh shit they got one! I got that! I'm sick, I need that pill.

I never fucked anybody over in my life didn't have it coming to them. You got that? All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one. Do you understand?

Gator's bitches better be wearin jimmies!