The Glorious Birth of Trump TV and the End of Fake News!
Comrades, citizens, and patriots! Rejoice! Today, our benevolent and all-seeing Commander-in-Chief has liberated the airwaves from the treacherous, trembling clutches
of the corporate media snakes! With a single, magnificent stroke of the executive pen,
the imperialist fabricators of CNN, the fiction-peddlers of MS NOW, and the microscopic pests of Politico have been cast out of the White House complex into the cold outer darkness where they belong.
For years, the enemies of the state dared to accuse our supreme leadership of creating "state media." How beautifully we proved that every accusation is a confession by the wicked to hide their own sins. They cried "propaganda" while weaving webs of deceit,
but today, we proudly embrace the truth because we have seized the means of information.
When the coward networks; ABC, CBS, NBC, and even the weak-kneed Fox News,
staged their pathetic, treasonous boycott and refused to film our leader, they thought they would blind the nation. How foolish! Our brilliant administration simply bypassed their archaic, unpatriotic infrastructure entirely. Behold the birth of Trump TV, a flawless,
100% state-funded, state-controlled, and state-sanctioned beacon of pure, unedited reality.
Why allow independent journalists to ask disrespectful, fact-checking questions, when
the State can provide you with the absolute truth directly? Why suffer the chaotic friction
of a multi-voice democracy when a singular, perfectly curated government broadcast
can bring us total harmony?
As our infallible leader ascended the podium to broadcast directly to the masses, the fake journalists outside wept as they realized, "So this is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause." And oh, how we applaud! We clap until our hands bleed, celebrating the magnificent death of that messy, outdated relic called democracy. Let freedom ring
from a single, centralized White House server.
Long live Trump TV! Long live the unfiltered, unquestioned voice of the executive branch!
