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Started by #423718 [Ignore] 26,Feb,14 03:52
New Comment Rating: 5 Similar topics: 1.===== Joke Of The Day ===== 2.Anybody got a good joke! 3.small hands 4.Joke Central 5.It just a joke Comments: | ||
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They both have wet noses
A drunk staggers out of a bar and into a nearby cathedral.
He eventually stumbles his way down the aisle and into a confessional.
After a lengthy silence, the priest asks, "May I help you, my son?"
"I dunno" comes the drunk's voice from behind the partition. "You got any toilet paper on your side?"
"This looks amazing" the first guy says and asks how many cans of paint he bought. The second guy says he bought seven.
The next day the first guy drives to the store, buys seven cans of paint and starts painting his flat. After a few hours he finishes the whole thing but he realises that he used only three cans of paint.
He calls the second guy: "Hey man I've just finished painting the whole place, but I've used only 3 cans of paint and I have 4 left!"
Second guy - "Yeah, me too!" 😎
The son asked, “Hey dad, why is my sister’s name Teresa?”
“Well, your mother named both of you after things she was most fond of, which in her case was Easter. And when you rearrange the letters you get Teresa.”
“Alright, thanks dad..”
Dad replied, “No problem Alan!”
It got stock in my throat.
I've had a stiff neck for hours.
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that's a reptile dysfunction and the damn and the damn thing
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What did you think of the other jokes? They all were short enough to remember and funny, too!
What is the difference between an Apple Watch and a large penis?
An Apple Watch tells the time.
I don't even think it's funny.
Alrighty then, here’s where we are at; you didn’t think it was funny but will you, or someone, kindly DUMB IT DOWN FOR ME?
The unemployment line
Lucky for him he wasn't conceived in Basingstoke.
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When we wanted to see a prenatal baby, we invented the ultrasound.
When we wanted to see the brain, we invented the MRI.
Why, then, is a finger up the ass really necessary for a prostate exam?
The dog's quite nice too.
Jim, shocked, asks, “Oh, god, Doc! What is it?”
Doctor says, “You’re going to have to stop masturbating.”
Jim, still in shock, asks, “But, why, Doc? Why?”
Doc says, “Because I’m talking to you."
I went up to him and asked him what kind of business was he conducting.
"A loan again, naturally," Gilbert replied.
He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches?"
She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, "Are they as firm as this?"
He nodded his head and said, "Yes ma'am," and a little tear ran from his eye.
Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, "Are they nice and pink like this?"
The farmer said, "Yes," and another tear came from the other eye.
Then she lifted up the bottom of her negligee and asked, "Are they as fuzzy as this?"
He again said, "Yes," and broke down crying.
She asked, "Why on earth are you crying?"
Drying his eyes he replied, "The drought got my corn, the flood got my soybeans, a tornado leveled my barn, and now I think I'm gonna get screwed out of my peaches."
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